Already the fiftieth time in the last one hour that I have written and erased the words within this tiny box. I wonder if this is like one of those skills, like car driving, that you can do effectively only if you keep at it. I have been gone for 1 year and 23 days. Truth be told, I did not think I would return. I was not ready to write again. Too much had been happening. Things, circumstances, life and me, were all involved in a process of serious change and maybe then, it was the time to collect rather than give. But true to life itself, I am back. making my way, struggling to find the right beginning. I don’t know if its me or are there more like me out there who seem to feel the loss of meaning when thoughts are converted to sentences. Words, often fail to communicate what the mind knows. I have had countless dialogues, written mind numbing posts, had powerful experiences in this span of time and each time, I wrote a small note in the diary of my mind, never on paper.
Strangely, its been much the same with everything else in my life this last twelve months. I abandoned, or at least temporarily shut shop over things and activities that I enjoyed/pursued religiously before – a fitness regime, traveling, trekking, yoga, cooking…On the other hand, some of the empty space got taken by the new things that i explored within this period – more complimentary healing therapies, a professional bakery course, training in a five star hotel, moving back in with my parents, learning to reach out, doing the zumba..blah..blah..blah..
In the days to come, I hope to crawl back into this space. Expect a name change of the blog. It wasn’t my idea to begin with, and i refuse to stay with a name that isn’t entirely me. I am changing, exploring, challenging and embracing. Lots of love