If i thought i was the only who had trouble making up her mind on almost everything, then the weather gods have certainly proved me wrong.The days are suprisingly warm, and then a sudden nip as the sun sets. Now again, the quilt on me is seeming too heavy to be of comfort.
There is a lingering fragrance of chocolate, coffee, vanilla and warm spices from the last few days of baking in the house and on my person. Today was the big day. Had participated in a Christmas carnival at Mayoor school in Noida. And what a show it turned out to be! The team of mum n me, were sold out by 3pm. Gooey indulgent brownies, chunky chocochip muffins, the ever fashionable plain pound cake and plenty of chocolate cakes were whipped for the discerning crowd. But the best part of baking is what it does to people. Young and old alike, I am yet to find too many people whose pallates don’t tickle at the sight of fresh cakes. Ideally, I would love to bak on sight, to share some part of that magic with my customers, but alas the logistics of it. Not to mention that it takes 25-30 minutes to bake and another 15 minutes to cool and demould. For me, cakes are a part of my childhood memories. Once mum was done pouring the batter into the tin, then i had complete autonomy over the whisking bowls. I would happily lick away leftover batter. i still believe if you can lick it raw and enjoy it, chance are its going to be just fine when done. Its not short of magic how you put in wet batter – a lil bit of this n a lil bit of that and with some time, it transforms into a fluffy, soft, slightly moist thing worthy of praise. Sometimes i catch myself sitting in front of the oven, staring at the batter, taking in the fragrance, almost mesmerised by its beauty.
Tomorrow is another day and i have a long to do list. Better part of the day is blocked for my foot reflexology sessions. Then, later its back to whipping up some more treats for Christmas.
Already the fiftieth time in the last one hour that I have written and erased the words within this tiny box. I wonder if this is like one of those skills, like car driving, that you can do effectively only if you keep at it. I have been gone for 1 year and 23 days. Truth be told, I did not think I would return. I was not ready to write again. Too much had been happening. Things, circumstances, life and me, were all involved in a process of serious change and maybe then, it was the time to collect rather than give. But true to life itself, I am back. making my way, struggling to find the right beginning. I don’t know if its me or are there more like me out there who seem to feel the loss of meaning when thoughts are converted to sentences. Words, often fail to communicate what the mind knows. I have had countless dialogues, written mind numbing posts, had powerful experiences in this span of time and each time, I wrote a small note in the diary of my mind, never on paper.
Strangely, its been much the same with everything else in my life this last twelve months. I abandoned, or at least temporarily shut shop over things and activities that I enjoyed/pursued religiously before – a fitness regime, traveling, trekking, yoga, cooking…On the other hand, some of the empty space got taken by the new things that i explored within this period – more complimentary healing therapies, a professional bakery course, training in a five star hotel, moving back in with my parents, learning to reach out, doing the zumba..blah..blah..blah..
In the days to come, I hope to crawl back into this space. Expect a name change of the blog. It wasn’t my idea to begin with, and i refuse to stay with a name that isn’t entirely me. I am changing, exploring, challenging and embracing. Lots of love
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye”
The valley was awash in the warmth of afternoon sun. The scent of Deodar wafted in and tingled my nose. Long winding roads skirted along the forest for kilometers together. With barely any other motorable traffic on the road, it seemed we were really far away. Occasionally, as it happens in the mountains, a lone man/woman could be seen sitting crouched on the pavement or the parapet, bags by their side, waiting for god only knows who to give them a lift. Sometimes one got the impression, they really were going nowhere, but simply needed to get out. So here they were idling away what city dwellers consider ‘ billed to client time’ doing almost nothing.
The sand feels cold to the foot, a good kind of cold. A slight breeze is carrying the woody scent of cedar to my head. It’s a cold night..colder than most others..I pull my fleece closer, but the wind still catches at my face. I should have packed in some more woolies but my enthusiasm and the rush of getting out of Delhi had got in my way. The water has a zen like quality to it, as it gently flows embracing the soft curves and rounds of colorful stones. The shadows are lengthening; the silhouettes more pronounced; the time for details is slowly fading away, only forms remain. It is fascinating the way everything transforms when light turns to darkness..something is lost and something gained in the transformation, a certain part of self identity is hidden and unknown attributes surface. Yet, yet, it takes place, time and time again.
I have lost track of time here. It may have been hours, or even minutes since I sat. It doesn’t matter. Far from gadgets and gizmos, electricity and connectivity, it only now which is of consequence. In the far distance I can hear voices, people laughing, possibly sitting together enjoying a meal or perhaps at this hour, a drink. I am mostly alone,with only the cosmic galaxy for company. The night sky is resplendent with light, maybe even the heavens are celebrating Diwali. On a clear night like this, every constellation has a tale to tell and as the hours wear on, a different constellation takes the spotlight and narrates.
The skies above and the sand below, what other magic do these nights in the intimacy of nature hold..where everything is real, in an almost ethereal way, where everything but the heart is still, when music beats out of silence and a sensuous dance of elements is constantly on display, here where one can be alone but never lonely, where nothing is out of sync, where being nothing means something..Everything is here, everything is now..Life, me..its all now…and when its time to go, this is where I want to be..where for once I breathe.
It’s that time of the year when we can all give ourselves valid reason for those sinful indulgences..Diwali, Christmas,New Year, weddings…..the list is endless.
Me? I have just been busy finishing orders. class=”hiddenSpellError” pre=””>Poonam, Bala and I have been slaving over the last week meeting deadlines, packaging chocolates, sloshing each other in chocolate and basically having lots of fun minus the calories. No reviews from customers yet, but I have to admit I had most fun the last week or so. When we weren’t busy doing chocolates, I have been kept busy with baking cakes and not to forget, my reflexology sessions.
Here, take a look at some of the stuff we did..Enjoy!!
Posted in Food
Tagged cakes, chocolates
They say things often come to you when you aren’t looking..and after what happened with me I am beginning to belive there is some merit to that statement.
I found Nirvana today..Its true..and in a coffee shop at that..Average height, athletic built with a short crop and a disarming smile. If I knew Nirvana came in such exotic packaging, i think I would have begun the search long ago. But anyways, this is a story I must tell…who knows when you might run into Nirvana yourself…